Technology is a wonderful thing. It can help make our lives easier, keep us connected in a myriad of ways, and enrich our days with features we didn’t know we needed (and probably still don’t.) But what’s the endgame here? Are we unwittingly turning into the Borg?

Speaking for myself, I was socially awkward long before smartphones came onto the scene. But they certainly haven’t helped matters. As it turns out, I may be too antisocial for social media. Where do you fall on the sliding scale of social awkwardness?

You might be socially awkward if…

Paying homage to Jeff Foxworthy, here’s a list of socially awkward behaviors that might tip off the need to actually make eye contact with a neighbor and say hello, or maybe just lift your chin off of your chest before all humans devolve into farsighted hunchbacks.

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#1

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… your SO knows where you checked in for lunch but doesn’t recognize your face.

#2

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you think your feet are your most flattering body part.

#3

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you take your phone to the bathroom and forget which hand to use when you wipe – eew – can ya hear me now!?

#4

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you walk into a manhole, or use the wrong sliding door and faceplant into glass, or trip into a fountain, or encounter a bear, yes, bear. If any of these sound remotely familiar, then you just might have a problem with texting while walking.

#5

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you think everything is a touchscreen. No, you can’t swipe, enlarge, or refresh that cute girl from the marketing department.

#6

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you think every little beep, ring and melodic trill are yet another cell phone alert. Sometimes that doorbell sound is the actual doorbell.

#7

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you speak to your phone, not just into it. (FYI your phone isn’t a living, breathing entity….yet.)

#8

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you paid $300 a pop for concert tickets and spent the whole evening recording the show instead of watching it.

#9

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you pass a car crash and your first thought is to take a selfie rather than call 911 or jump in and help.

#10

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… you think Google is an all-knowing sage or your 24/7 on-call personal assistant.

#11

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… instead of confiding in person about your social awkwardness, you’re going to share this post on Facebook with all your equally socially awkward friends.

You know technology has made you socially awkward if… (fill in the blank)

Post your favorite quips below so we can all share them with our friends and… er, well, engage in even more antisocial behavior. Oh well, if you can’t beat ‘em… (Google it of you don’t know the rest.)

Featured image (c) Huffington Post

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