Get ready to drink and drive, text and drive, and double-flip people the bird.

We’re all jazzed with the notion of Google’s sweet self-driving cars taking over the roadways. No more road rage, no lollygagging grannies who can barely see over the dashboard, no more texting while driving, no more speeding tickets.

The upsides are lust-inducing, but sadly, these sweet rides will be nowhere on the horizon anytime soon.

By the end of which decade, exactly?

So Google’s self-driving car has hit a snag. Project director Chris Urmson announced at the SXSW film festival that Google’s vision for taking over the roadways may be as far off in the distant future as 30 years away, which is a far cry from the “end of decade” projections made previously.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj-rK8V-rik

Not-so-happy accidents

Maybe part of the dampened expectations arose from the recent news that one of Google’s self-driving cars caused an accident just weeks prior to Urmson’s SXSW speech. Whatever the reason, it looks like self-driving cars will be rolled out incrementally.

Safety first and sunny side up

If you live in a metropolitan area with nice weather and few road hazards, then your market will likely be among the first to see self-driving cars on the roadway.

Other markets will have to wait for the technology to develop, which is probably a good thing. In Los Angeles, we’ve seen countless news stories stating that Google’s self-driving cars are coming soon, which might not be a great idea given the traffic conditions.

The possibilities are endless

A self-driving Uber? 30 minute pizza delivery? A disembodied designated driver? There’s countless applications for Google’s self-driving cars, with the most logical roll-out being to test the waters with service vehicles first, and personally owned vehicles coming after that.

9 great ways to kill time in your self-driving car

Okay, so we have upwards of 30 years to complete this list, but hey, there’s no time like the present.

1) Give ’em the bird

Both of your hands will be free to flip other drivers the bird.

2) Play punch buggie – hard

Punch buggy can graduate to an all out backseat brawl, assuming you can still find buggies on the roadway.

3) Battle (of) the sexes

Men and women can finally stop arguing about if they should stop for directions.

4) Sleeeeeep

Gridlock traffic turns into a great place to catch up on some z’s

5) F@$! the police

If you get pulled over, you can legitimately tell the cops you have no clue how fast you were going and it ain’t your fault.

6) Drink and drive

You can finally drink and drive with a clean conscience… and throw a full-blown backseat tantrum while your self-driving car drags your sorry arse to an unscheduled AA meeting.

7) Drink and drive, coffee edition

You can shuttle your kids to school, and stay home and enjoy a relaxing cuppa joe, all at the same time.

8) Primp

You can shave, and/or do your hair and makeup without killing anyone.

9) Teleport yourself

You can wile away your time daydreaming about Google Transporter, and how one day, you’ll just step into a box and teleport yourself to your destination in an instant.

How will you pass the time in your self-driving car?

What self-driving car activities are you looking forward to enjoying… 30 years from now? (waa waaaaa). Post your comments below; we’ll wait, we’ve got nothing but time.

 

featured photo (c) The LA Times

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